Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I'm feeling rather emotional now.
I think it's time to learn to be independent. Because i think it is hard to be able to find someone who will be there for me whenever i feel like pouring out my agony and it is also difficult to be able to find someone to share my joy. I guess that only if i learn to be independent, i will be a much happier lady.
However i know that bee will be here for me but now , bee is away for a period of time therefore this period of time is like hell to me. I hope that he will be able to comprehend that though he is away for this moments, i still do miss him alot and that i will still be loving him.
Is he the only one who will stay by me no matter what ? Do i only have him ?
This question shall be a mystery till the one when i'l be able to solve it.
I wish that there will be a resolution to this but apparently, i still cant find it.
I aborminate myself for being so dependent on friends. Why cant i ever practice to do things on myself and with myself ? Why do i see the accompany of friends so important ? Why do i feel that accompany of friends is so essential? Why do i resist the feeling of lonliness ? Should this carry on , how long more can i hold ? Will i be able to walk through all this on my own or will i give up half way and leave the rest undone ?
How will i be able to cope ?